how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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