I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
