Pants 0. Shit 1.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
