haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
