The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
