HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
