He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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