i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
