I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
