Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
