I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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