i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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