When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
