just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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