i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize