I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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