We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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