they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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