Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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