No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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