Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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