yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
