He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
