tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
