ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Just high enough for therapy.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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