Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
