i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just want to make out with him forever
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
