their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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