But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
