that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
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