Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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