either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
