Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Randomize
