I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
