My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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