last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
