Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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