No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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