and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
