Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
