the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
