I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
