so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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