I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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