Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
