I'm really into asian looking animals
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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