No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
