After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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