i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
