I just saw a hot homeless man
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
