My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize
