There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
