That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
you will always have a special place in my vag
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Randomize
