Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Randomize
