Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
